LOGAN: Why am I paying you again?!
COACH: Good morning, Logan.
LOGAN: You know it was my second wife who suggested I hire a damn executive coach in the first place.
COACH: Yes, I appreciate that.
LOGAN: Well, we’re divorced now.
COACH: Yes…so what’s on your mind today?
LOGAN: You know, under certain circumstances a Lion will kill every cub in its pride.
COACH: I’m sensing some anger.
LOGAN: Anger is my oxygen! Or maybe my dopamine. Either way, of course I’m angry. Who wouldn’t be with this under-performing company and these offspring of mine.
COACH: We left our last session with you committing to “pausing.” Waiting a beat before you…
LOGAN: Respond! Right. That didn’t happen.
COACH: I see.
LOGAN: It didn’t happen because if I don’t do something, it doesn’t get done. Or if it’s done, it’s done with all the competence of a first-year MBA who’s getting a degree from YouTube!
COACH: We discussed this before. You were feeling that micro-managing wasn’t serving you anymore.
LOGAN: All management is micro-management. If you’re not micro-managing you’re out of the loop. And out of the loop is the last place I want to be. There, and Martha’s Vineyard in July when Hillary and Bill are there.
COACH: Right. And have you given any thought to your Vision? You were saying that in a perfect world, you’d sell every last asset, live simply and be a puppy breeder — Corgis, was it?
LOGAN: Frenchies! French Bulldogs. The third gift from the Gauls after Cote de Nuits Pinot Noir and Baudelaire — ol’ Chuck really knew his way around a couplet.
COACH: As you know, honoring your Vision is important. It’s a critical time for you. You’re at the level between success and freedom.
LOGAN: Freedom…
COACH: I sense you like the sound of that?
LOGAN: I do. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be free…
COACH: What’s a first step you can take to that freedom?
LOGAN: I don’t know, really…
COACH: Journaling has worked for you in the past.
LOGAN: Yes, I remember. A bit of stream of consciousness…
COACH: Yes.
LOGAN: Freedom…
COACH: Good.
LOGAN: Kerry! Cancel all of my meetings for the rest of the day! I’m off to the R&T! I’m gonna get naked, go for a swim…and then write about puppies!
KERRY: Yessir.
LOGAN: What a session. Am I paying you enough?
(Illustration: Minimal Wall, UK)
“I do love you. But you’re not SERIOUS people.”
Terrific except for the Nantucket part. Martha’s Vineyard is where Bill and Hill hang out. Along with the Obamas and Dershowitz 😎